2012 - The Review

Roland Emmerich destroys the world again. This time, at the cost of 200 million USD. Personally I really don’t like zombie movies and the world-coming-to-an-end movies where US will be shown as the soul savior for the whole world. The same continues here again.

Cast: Global Warming, Mayan Prophecy, Chiwetel Ejiofor, John Cusack, Amanda Peet, and ppl from all over the world.

The movie is based on the Mayan calendar which predicted that the expiry date for the earth is 21 December 2012. The film starts somewhere in Mumbai, 2009 where an Indian astrophysicist finds that the earth’s crust undergoing displacements and the deluge gonna come in 2012. Adrian, an American Scientist gets this information and reports to the US Prez. The fist black president in a Hollywood movie, I think. Then the Presidents of all the nations are summoned and given a warning that 2012 gonna be the last year for the mankind. Meanwhile, all the nations also plan to survive the deluge which gonna come. So they build huge ships like Noah’s ARK, somewhere in the Himalayas.

Now the hero, John Cusack gets introduced. He is a novelist turned limousine driver. He has 2 kids, but his wife (Amanda) lives with her new boyfriend. John goes on a usual weekend visit and takes the kids to Yellow Stone National park for camping. There he sees a weirdo..perhaps he should be called a prophet. He knows that the government has a warning signal but hiding those from the civilians. He tells John Cusack that the apocalypse is approaching and the govt is building a huge ship ( like the machine in Digital Fortress) to survive. The 7 yr gal kid is so cute and lovable, who still uses her baby nappies :)

The same night, LA suffers a minor earthquake and Amanda freaks out over phone and ask John Cusack to bring back her kids immediately. He reaches LA and mom and the kids hug each other. Our hero doesn’t get a hug. Poor guy !. Meanwhile he comes to know from the kids of the Russian millionaire, whom John works for ,that a major disaster gonna come . He rushes back to Amanda and the kids. Takes them in the limo and head for the small plane which he had hired to escape from the disaster. Uptill this , the movie looked good. But it turned out to be complete Special effects treat and unbelievable computer animation stunts that completely didn make any sense.

The cracking boulevards and fly overs. Buildings falling like a pack of cards. Earth splitting and showing grand canyon underneath. Runways getting amputated. Too much of special effects. Amanda’s boyfriend Gordon, is a very funny guy. Its like , there will be a scene in all such movies , where one guy will get killed unnecessarily, rather a sacrifice !! Heehehe. I immediately guessed that.. Oh yeah..He is the one..Lets wait how he gets nailed at the end!!. John rushes to yellow stone park to see the prophet to get the map which leads to the ship. At that time, the volcano in the park erupts and throws fire balls. But its really lame to see they dodge all the fire balls, falling buildings, debris using their small plane. Ripley’s believe it or not !

The other part of the story, where the US whitehouse folks always gather up and then make video conf with other nation’s presidents and drafting an action plan. Chiwetel Ejiofor gives lengthy lectures with a constipated feeling on his face. Thandane Newton plays as the Prez’s daughter. The Prez refuse to board the Airforce One to go to the Himalayas. He gets killed by an earthquake followed by a giant Tsunami. The same time, the other parts of the world also gets into destruction. Vatican, Jesus, the redeemer in Rio, Eiffel, White House everything vanishes in seconds.. Coz of the huge seismic activity measuring more than 10 on Richter scale. Vegas turns out to be land covered with lava. People who were able to bay 1 billion EURO for a ticket, were allowed to board the ship. Govt makes money even in such conditions. So John Cusack has to find another way to get into the ship to save his kids and wife. They somehow managed to get a Russian millionaire Yuri’s bigger cargo plane carrying his Bentleys and Lamborghinis. Gordon, who always says that he cant fly the thing.. but he ends up in flying everything. Wat a stupid dumbo. Ok anyway it’s a character, however gonna get killed. Hehehe

They reach Himalyas and managed to get to the ship also. And then its hella lota time waited for the movie to get ended. I literally started yawning. Damn it , I went for 10:35 PM show..thinking that I can leave from the theatre by 12 and try get some sleep. But it’s a fking 2 hr 40 mins movie :( with just spl effects. Some dialogues were really good. One such is when the scientist Adrian tells about where the real ‘humanity’ getting lost. But still it didn add any stuff to the movie. Since he still had the same constipated look when he uttered those. Many scenes were predictable , like that Russian chic showing middle finger to Yuri. And dialogues like.."Oh my God, Its comingggggg". Hilarious. I like to watch the making of those scenes and laugh like hell.

The earth’s crust displacement makes the earth change its polarity. South pole goes to Winconsin, US. Giant Tsunamis of 1500 ft comes from both the sides and hit the Himalayas. And some Hollywood /bollywood drama and dialogues at the end and they are on board safely in the ship, after killing Gordon, who gets crushed between wheel gears of the ship’s side anchor door ! Some amount people, some animals, invaluable paintings etc survives the deluge.The same story as that of Noah’s Ark and Manu in Hindu mythology.

The thing doesn stop there. The waters start receding in just 27 days and the survived ppl gets ready to re populate the earth. Aarrrrrrrrrrgggghhh ! Come on! How could such huge amount of ocean water recede in just 27 day when John Cusack’s black suit didn’t get crumple till the movie gets over.?. The sequel to this movie has been made already. Its nothing but 'WALL-E' !

But still, the stuff , Emerich coming to say is really valuable. That the world is coming to an end soon. Of course I knew it when the movies like RACE, Rab Ne Banadi Jodi, Sawariya got released.. Hahaha. Truly guys !! Enjoy the movie. There are zillion of special effects. And don’t say like Rajeev Masand , ‘ I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I still want my ticket money back !’ . Heheh. Lets wait for Dec 21, 2012 to bring an end. Happy Children's Day !! :)